How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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