Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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