Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
