is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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