i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
