they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize