margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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