It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just puked most of my soul out..
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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