my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
