our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
