Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
