he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
