Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just forgot I was standing up.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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