After last night, I could never be a politician.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
