I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
