I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
