What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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