Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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