your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
