did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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