Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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