Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
