Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
