Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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