look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Randomize
