I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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