i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
