Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize