But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
