I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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