Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
