I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
