Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize