Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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