Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
