Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
