we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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