either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
