He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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