The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So vagazzling was a success
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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