I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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