i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
