Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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