I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize