$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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