We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
