Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
