she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
