It's like God shit irony all over that family
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
