An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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