the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
