You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
