: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
