Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
