this beer tastes like vomit already
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
