Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
