..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
