Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
