How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize