i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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