I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
