You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
