Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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