So drunk its hurt
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
